25 November 2017

Being Thankful In A Swamp

There’s a time in the swamp of a job layoff that you know it’s going to be worse and perhaps longer. This is when the holidays come.

I have always thought that a layoff in November and December was the worst because there was little hope of finding a new job at year’s end. This is why I was hopeful for my layoff in June. I never expected to still be looking.

Yet, here I am. Still in the swamp. Knowing that I am a good senior project manager, knowing that I have other amazing skills, knowing that I will work hard and help any team meet their goals and more...and none of it seeming to matter. There’s always something I’m lacking. Always a reason for no further conversation. My self-worth crumbles along with my confidence.

If you haven’t been through an extended layoff, you cannot comprehend this swamp. You can be sympathetic and supportive - which is SO appreciated - but you cannot comprehend. And I hope you do not have to. This is not a swamp for everyone.

I am thankful for my family and friends. I am blessed beyond measure. I am grateful for all the Lord has placed around me. He will continue to sustain me and my family through this swamp. But I am ready to leave it. I am weary of this emotional coaster.

Please, God, I want to leave this swamp.