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Why The Hate For Jon & Kate?

This is a bit odd for me to write a post about "Jon & Kate Plus Eight." The only reason I watch the show is if Kim has Netflixed a season (we don't get TLC) and I'm relaxing with her. Kim's a fan of it and has read Kate's book. But why this post?

This family lives in our neighbor-state Pennsylvania, Kim and I concluded that Jon's personality is very similar to mine, and I'm sick of all the trash about them on the web and in the blogosphere.

One of my talents put to great use while in broadcast TV was that of researching. I love to dig up information, uncover facts, and track down truths. So, I quickly decided to use these skills on Jon & Kate. What'd I find? That there's a lot of people out there speaking out of jealously, judgment, and ignorance.

Jealously comes into play in many ways but primarily it focuses on this family's lifestyle. Their new home, their vacations, and how they spend their time to name a few. HELLO! Let's not forget this family literally had nothing. Along comes this show and their life changes. That's called a BLESSING. What they choose to do with that blessing is their business, however, it would seem they want to continue loving their family and helping others by making their family a business.

This leads into the judgement. Kate shouldn't be doing this. Kate shouldn't be doing that. Why aren't they at home taking care of the kids? Why are they always separate? She looks unhappy. Blah, blah, blah! For one, you don't know them (nor do I but I took time to research) and you may not know they made a choice not to put their children in daycare and to always try and have one parent at home. I'm sure they have many other arrangements and agreements that we know nothing about. That's okay, that's between them.

Ah, yes, and now the ignorance. How ignorant the blogosphere is in making comments about this family. Let's face it, season one was all about what's going on in the neighborhood, at home, and just trying to cope with a family that large. But it's a REALITY-TV SHOW and having produced an Emmy-winning TV program, I know that experiments are a must. So, the family is put in this situation or this scenario is played out. Then, it's edited together in a way that is most promotable and sure to hook viewers. That's TV and sometimes it's reality but more often it's the reality of how the show is edited.

And why would anyone choose to believe some dribble from the Star?! These rags exist to exploit a shred of truth into a fabrication of saleable fiction. What is fact here? Jon Gosselin visited his mother to help her while she recovered from foot surgery. To take a break, Jon went to a local restaurant/bar. In a small town, there's often not a lot of choices for things to do. Some of the volleyball team members were there and asked to pose for pictures. Jon agreed and chatted with the team members.

This encounter becomes Jon doing beer pong at a party and making out with college girls?! I'm sure there was an eyewitness to this encounter who will gladly provide PhotoShop pictures of Jon performing these tasks. Please.

Then, there's those of you who continually stress that the children are being harmed and exploited by this show. As Jon stated, the "show is their life and their life is their show." However, the children aren't working. They are being taped. The children aren't being dragged around the country to speaking events and book signings. If exploiting the children means having a successful show because of the children, shouldn't we all be so fortunate? Let's face it, most of our lives are very boring and yet can be very exciting with only one or two children. We aren't being taped for a cable show. They are. Good for them!

Imagine having eight children. EIGHT! Imagine having very little and wondering how you are going to support your family and then in a few years having your name being a brand and having to want for very little. Imagine having to adjust to this celebrity while still learning to parent eight children and while trying to keep growing as a married couple. Imagine making mistakes and having each one possibly caught on camera and talked about across the web. How would you handle it? Could you?

Whether or not there's another season of this show isn't the issue. To me, the issue is often ourselves. What are we doing? Are we learning from their successes and failures? Most of all, are we trying to say encouraging things to our spouse and our children? Are we saying encouraging things about Jon & Kate? Words hurt and enough words can kill. Maybe not physically but certainly mentally, emotionally and spiritually.

I want to close with an email that I attempted to send to Jon but it failed due to that mailbox being full. Perhaps one day he'll see it:


I wanted to reach out to you as a husband, father, and fan of your show to say thank you. Few can imagine what you must have gone through the past four years. A father of one 4 year old daughter (yeah, I know), I can only imagine if my wife had multiple babies and while I was trying to get used to this new chapter, a camera crew began documenting many days of my life - the good, the bad, the ugly.

Your personality and humor I can totally relate. You and I may share the same personality Phlegmatic-Melancholy and my wife, Kim is, Sanguine-Choleric. We are exact opposites and beyond the age-old cliche that "opposites attract," I believe God has a plan in bringing two different personalities together. We recently Netflixed Season 1 and while I was chuckling at one of your reactions to Kate, Kim said, "He's your hero, isn't he?!" I couldn't deny it. You rock!

I haven't seen many episodes from your last season, but Kim mentioned that you had doubts about coming back for a fifth season. I learned online that indeed there will be a fifth and also about the rumors of pictures.

Taking a break from the show is a totally understandable thought. For everything there is a reason and a season. We're blessed to know your family for another season. Maybe there's a break after that and a return. Maybe it's over for good. The Lord doesn't promise us tomorrow. Let today be today and deal with tomorrow then.

As for the other, no one has any place to judge or assume. Too many want to start rumors for fame and destruction. After all, Satan would like nothing more than to destroy what ministry you guys are living for millions of viewers. A ministry it definitely is and many are praying for you.

So, again, I just wanted to thank you, Jon, for being you, for sharing a few moments of your life and your family's life with the world. For enduring the pressures, demands, scrutinies, hardships, and frustrations. And also for sharing the joys, delights, blessings, laughter, and encouragement.

Let no one defeat you or steal your passion but have peace and stay focused on Christ who is bigger than all of it

Your Brother,
Rick Garner

Exodus 14:14


  1. Worse piece of garbage I've read yet defending the greedy, ignorant trash that believe it's morally okay to exploit children for financial security.

  2. LOL thanks for your comment, Anonymous! I'm proud to take the prize for being positive and putting my name to it while you can hurl ownerless insults.

  3. Finally a positive prespective on a good family who are just trying to raise their family.

  4. Rick thank you so much for the wonderful post. I love it so much I want to put it front and center on my blog. Thanks for showing this to me!

  5. Rick, just found your blog today. Very nice piece. It's great to hear a man's perspective - 99% of Gosselin bloggers are women and a lot of them bring a lot of negativity I can do without.

    I enjoyed your thoughts as someone who shares personality traits with Jon. I am sure J&K have a lot of pressure on them, but I do think they came together for a reason and there is a lot of love there. I wish them the best and don't understand why others would not feel the same.

    Best to you and your family!

  6. So, Rick,you're a spineless, immature whiner whose bitch of a wife has your balls in her purse, too. It's always the bitches who claim to be just like Kate who defend Kate; I just never read online a man admit to being such a loser. You'll be the laughingstock of blogworld (much like your "hero") before you know it. LOL

  7. Thanks Anonymous, Baby Mama, and Anya for your kind words! It seemed clear to me that some positivity needed accentuating in this story. There's a lot of positives here and yet more negativity is being sloshed around.

  8. "Mike," if I were spineless your comment would've been deleted.

    Immature? Who's the one name-calling here?

    I'm pretty certain everyone whines to some degree.

    You don't know my wife (nor do you know Jon or Kate but what you've seen on TV), but my wife is a stellar woman and outstanding mother. We celebrate 12 years of marriage this month.

    "Mike" (since there's only a million of those out there), if sharing my views and opinions in a positive tone makes me a loser, so be it.

  9. But, Rick, come on. You don't see how immature Jon Gosselin comes across? He lets his wife berate him and treat him like crap on camera. My wife watched the show, for a while, and I caught a couple of episodes with her because she wanted my opinion. Then she became embarrassed for Jon. I'm embarrassed for him, as well, and I'm just surprised that you would admit to being just like Jon. If you have a wonderful wife who doesn't treat you like a child, then good for you. Nothing wrong with being laid-back and easy going. I'd just like to see Jon stand up for himself. It's painful to watch.

    And you can call me "Michael" if you prefer. That is my real name.

  10. I just can't seem to stop myself. LOL.

    If Jon were mature, he'd step up and take care of his family. Nothing wrong with him being the nurturing parent, from what we've seen of Kate, the kids are lucky to have Jon. But my comment about the immaturity of Jon is based on watching him cower, yes, literally cower beneath his wife's attacks on his speech, his overly loud breathing, his discipline of the children (when it was needed). She actually told the kids "not to listen to daddy. Daddy's mean." A grown-ass man would have said turn off the damn cameras and let me see you for a moment, Kate." Kate has no respect for her husband. And she's teaching her children to no have respect for their father. How is that an admirable quality in a man? Stand up for yourself, Jon! I wish you would have included that in your letter to Jon that he never received. Ha.

  11. Now, THIS is some good stuff, Mike! Awesome. Clearly, you've seen a bit more of their interviews. I still think editing has a lot to do with how things come across, however, Jon may indeed need to grow some.

    Jon and I are alike being easy-going and laid back. We seem to have similar personalities. And while Kate and my Kim share a similar personality, Kim doesn't show the intensity and disrespect Kate dishes out. Kim's surprised at what she's seen.

    Jon said in the interview embedded in my post that he and Kate don't let a day go by without resolving a conflict. It's sad that if that's captured on camera the producers never show it. I think it'd do wonders for Jon's self-esteem and self-worth (to mention the audience) to include that in a show.

    Thanks for sharing your thoughts in more detail. :)

  12. Exactly, Rick. It just bothers me that Jon allows this to go on. As a husband and father, I'd have to say "Cut!" and tell the crew to leave. My wife tells me I'm a manly man (don't understand that, cause you're either a man or you're not), but Jon just goes along with it. My opinion? Jon doesn't want a real job. He doesn't want to get up at the crack of dawn and bust his ass all day, so he lets this go on because it affords him the lifestyle he wants. I'm a lowly associate in a huge law firm, but if I had to come home to that . . man, I couldn't take it. And my wife is a strong woman. She works just as hard as a paralegal. But the first time she told our kids that I was mean and not to listen to me? On camera? That camera crew would not be able to get out of MY house fast enough.

    I don't know and I don't care about all of their schemes and plans to get where they are. I don't have the time to pick it apart. I found your site because my wife picked it up on another blog and asked me to read a man's perspective. I don't stand around the watercooler at work disussing this show; but because it's shown in my house, and I've seen it, you gotta know, man. It's fine to have opposites in a relationship. My wife is a neat person, she cooks, cleans, does all of the motherly things in the house. BUT, I pitch in at every opportunity because she's no more important than I when it comes to our kids. But I do stand up for myself. If I was EVER screamed at me on camera for the whole world to hear that I didn't use a coupon? I'd do whatever it took to make sure that footage didn't air and I'd damn sure kick that crew outof my family's home. I would first protect my children; then I'd deal with the wife, because Kate has obvious problema.

    As a fellow man, i have to say, Jon is being crucified and it's Jon, and Jon alone who can stand up for himself and his family. And it appears that he he is not doing so. I think Jon is doing what Kate tells him to do. And it makes me want to hold my balls in a protective defense.

  13. Mike, there is clearly a lot more going on with this family than seen on tv. Please do some research into children on reality tv and you will discover that they do not get any of the same protections afforded child actors regarding work hours, working conditions, payment, tutoring and counseling. While there are those who do snark on the Gosselins, many people are truly concerned about the childrens' welfare. There have been way too many bad endings for children whose lives have been lived in front of the cameras. There are very good reasons why laws were passed to protect child actors.
    As far as Jon, it was confirmed by the college's PR department that he was indeed at a party at the girls' volleyball team house playing beer pong, not just taking a few fan pictures in a bar. While this is certainly a matter to be handled between Jon and Kate, they certainly sought out and enjoy the fame and perks the show gives them. Unfortunately there is a price to pay for this - loss of privacy. I have a very hard time with them allowing TLC to use their marital problems as a ratings booster for their show. How must their older children feel?
    There are any other number of problems with this show that bother reasonable, thinking people. Why agree to have their faith edited out? Why allow their beautiful daughter to be edited to be portrayed as some sort of bratty child - the villian of the family? Why allow filming of what should be private moments - bathing, pottying, going to the doctor and dentist, etc?
    Yes there are people who snark on this show on blogs - any famous person is going to be subject to that - it's part of the territory. However, you can't overlook the truly disturbing aspects of this Truman Show life on the kids. It has nothing to do with jealousy and everything to do with common sense.
    Please do a little more research into this family beyond blogs such as Babymomma's. She is an uber-fan, with pictures of the children posted all over her blog (would she do that to her own kids?) and links to Gosselin merchandise (is she too making money off these kids?). I think if you throw out the extremes on both sides of this debate you may come to the same conclusion that there is something very wrong about children supporting their parents in this fashion.

  14. You are WRONG. The children are being dragged all over the country to churches and more churches, where they are put on display while their parents speak and then accept money (called "love gifts") from a special collection

    This is a disgrace.

  15. "Let those without sin cast the first stone." Who are you to judge this family? Really who are you, who gave you permission to do so all you negative people out there? You don't know them, what you see on their show is reality yes, but edited too, to make it entertaining and interesting. You know, I tend to agree that Jon does seem to let Kate just walk all over him, maybe one of his challenges is being passive. And I would venture to guess he knew that Kate was the way she was when they got married. He didn't have to propose to her, ya know. But that's their choice and their decision. He obviously loved her enough to marry her.

    Personally, I believe these two genuinely love each other. I don't believe they will get divorced, I love how society today is always, "Oh there is a fight, divorce is coming." That's why the divorce rate is so high, no one wants to put in the effort, it's the easy way out. Have a fight, file for divorce. Sorry, but my husband and I fight and I don't go running to get divorce. I WORK on it and work through the issues, and I believe this is what they do, they it's not shown.

    Cut this family a break. We all have issues and challenges in our life, and yes, they chose to show that through a tv show, but I can't imagine that you all out there putting them down are fact I know you aren't, no one is. So before you go putting someone down, especially if you don't know them, look at yourself, examine your faults and think how you would feel if negative stuff was said about you like this. I would imagine you will fine that you would feel hurt.

    I'm just saying, people are too quick to judge and put others down (and I will admit, I have done it myself before. Like the rest of you, I am not perfect.) Rick, thank you for your blog post...

  16. D., thank you for your comment. Well said!

  17. Your research is very flawed. This couple took fertility treatments, set up the gosselin six website before the tups were born, and contacted every reality tv producer in the country shopping this series. They got college funds gifted to them from their state but went from church to church begging for love offerings, of which they can hide from the IRS. There are episodes of Kate telling Jon about the next free trip she and Beth have cooked up - one being their Hawaii marriage renewal trip. These children are dragged around the country and put on display and made to act for the cameras and they don't have any privacy. The Dionne quintuplets in Canada went through a similar fate and they are asking children of multiples not to cash in on these children. Kate did not write Multiple Blessings yet is touring the country as its author. There is nothing real or genuine or truthful about this couple save for their greed and exploitation and I hope their show is cancelled.

  18. Anonymous, my research may be flawed but I find your statements fascinating. They took fertility treatments...thousands of couples do.

    Jon registered a domain before the kids were born. Being a web guy, I'd likely have done the same thing.

    When a special guest makes an appearance at a church, more often than not a love offering is taken. While one might not report that to the IRS, do you know that they have or have not done?

    Kate didn't write Multiple Blessings but is touring as the author. Do you all the details about this book? Have you spoken with Kate, the "real author," or the publisher?

    My point is that neither my research nor your research nor another's research is complete without sitting down in person with Jon & Kate. While you and others would likely say nothing coming from them is truthful, I'd be more inclined to take their word as truth before believing everything I hear and read from elsewhere.

  19. Rick,
    I really enjoyed your thoughts on the show, as well as your letter to Jon. J&K+8 is easily my favorite show, not only for pure entertainment value, but because I appreciate the way in which the Gosselins are raising their children. It's nice to see a family working together for their own greater good. I am a 2nd grade teacher (I formerly taught pre-K), and I must say that the Gosselin children seem to be perfectly normal, happy kids. I often witness bloggers stating that Mady is "psychotic," or "bratty," which makes me sad. Her tantrums are just like those of many other 8 year-olds. I think it would be more alarming if the kids were too perfect. As someone who spends the majority of her time with children, I see too many kids who are not taught to be kind, caring individuals. It's wonderful to see that Jon and Kate are doing their best to instill these traits in their children early on. As Jon and Kate routinely say, they are not perfect parents, but they are doing their best. I don't think anyone can fault them for that. As for those who are so critical of Jon and Kate, as my own mother used to say, "Everyone is the perfect parent...until they have kids of their own." Imagine having EIGHT!

    Just one more thought, this one regarding Jon's acceptance of Kate's so-called "insults." Another poster stated that Jon needs to "grow a pair," and implied that Jon is not manly. I happen to know a thing or two about manly men, largely due to the remote, truly rural mountain area where I grew up and continue to live today. Manly men come in all forms. My husband is a "manly man"--he is an automotive technician who comes home filthy, smelly, rippling with muscle (REAL muscles, not inflated gym muscles), exhausted, and full of pride in a job well done every day after work. Yet it's not all of these factors that make him so "manly." What makes him manly is the fact that he has enough patience and caring to deal with me when I'm at my worst. He handles listening to me bitch about my day, or all to often, directly at him. We aren't filmed, but if we were, he wouldn't need to "shut off the camera" to deal with me. Men (or women, for that matter) who feel the need to be combative over every tiny comment are the weak ones. My husband (and I suppose Jon, as well) is strong enough, smart enough, and I suppose MANLY enough to realize that even though I'm not being particularly nice, I don't mean to unload on him. It's this quiet ability to simply let my temporary bitchiness roll off his back that makes me realize how strong he really is. That's a REAL man!

  20. Kiely, what an awesome comment you have here! You really hit it out of the park! Ultimately, we are seeing an uncensored view of this family but also don't know what all "falls on the editing floor."

    It's so easy for anyone to say Kate is bitchy and Jon needs to grow some based on what we see on the show but that's not entirely who they are. There's more to them than the show, just like there's more to use than seen by family and friends.

  21. Wow, thank you! As you said, we have no idea what "really" goes on with these people, but I like to think that what we see is pretty much what we would get in true reality. As for the editing, I would really hate to see what a producer could do with some of my worst moments! I think most people who know me would agree that I'm pretty easy-going and friendly, but like everyone else, I have bad moments. Also, coming from my teaching background, I have to say that I can't blame Kate one bit for being a little short-tempered at times. It gets difficult trying to meet everyone's needs ALL the time. I myself sometimes experience a moment of panic and frustration, and I'm sure I'm not at my best during those moments. Let he who is without sin cast the first stone!!

  22. Kiely, absolutely! You rock!

    I would imagine that Jon & Kate are being genuine and sharing their family and personality. Indeed, any one of us can have tense moments. Matter of fact, if we had a camera following us around, we might be surprised how we we sound...when we're talking to our spouse and our children. It might be very sobering.

    Of course, an editor is going to piece together an episode to flow how they want/need/and what will get the most viewership. Doesn't mean the editor intends ill-will and doesn't mean that Jon & Kate don't have some say in what airs...people are more interesting and complicated than a camera can capture.

  23. It's kind of refreshing to find another person who really enjoys the show and realizes that these people probably truly are doing the best they can. I'll likely keep watching as long as they keep filming, although I won't begrudge them when they choose to stop. Those kids make me smile!

  24. Jon = failure, he's nothing without Kate and the kids...... he's a male whore, he needs to grow up. Any man that runs around on his wife is dirt in my eyes...... what a looser he is.... he had a great thing going and I hope she dumps him.....

    Sorry my father did the same thing to my mother when I was young and I grew up with the embarrassment of it all...

    I love the show.... and I can not believe that Jon would behave in such an awful way..... how immature! I don't care of Kate B**chs at him all day..... that is no reason to do what he did..... if he is miserable then there are correct ways to do things... if he did not want to be in the show anymore or be married there are correct ways to go about it... marriage counselors etc..... he states on the video that they said one of them would always be with the children.... Kate was gone and he was out playing....

    Kate = Brains, writing books, being responsible, being a mother, organized etc.. would never do that to her husband or children....

    Jon = Weak, not responsible, is thinking with his d**k and needs to grow up! And he self medicated with his behavior......Was watching tv last night and seen how the girlfriends brother heard them having hot sex through the walls of the house.... how sick is that?

    And who am I to judge? I do not judge.... I just tell it like it is. It would not be slaughterd all over the tv if nothing was going on or went on and why is Jon apologizing or what he did to his family?

    And come on ladies.... if you are a Kate hater I am sure you have rolled your eyes at your husband a few times or looked at them as if they had no brains for what they said one time or another....

    There is truth to this... a man only thinks with part of his brain and a woman uses all of her brain... read for yourself!

  25. Anonymous, thanks for sharing your comments. You're entitled to your opinions, especially those of husbands that cheat. However, I'm more inclined to believe articles such as these:

    People are very quick to judge Jon who don't even know him. I say that if Jon says "I did not cheat on Kate" and that his friends agree with that statement (as in the link above), let's err on the side of innocent until proven guilty.

    He made an error in judgment. We all have made similar mistakes.

    I'm less inclined to believe this woman's brother has "broken his silence" since people can say anything for a buck.

    What would be supreme justice is to that this brother is proven to have done this and he and People are sued for slander and or libelous statements.

  26. I agree, Rick. Did Jon cheat? Maybe, maybe not. I tend to "poo-poo" these sensationalized, tabloid-styles stories. Yeah, sometimes the tabloids are right, but more often they're just jumping onto the rumor wagon to make a buck. After all, magazines featuring only happy people don't sell well, now do they? I also feel that if Jon did cheat on Kate, then it's their cross to bear. It has to be hard enough to deal with marital woes privately, nevermind in the public eye.

  27. The Dionne quints were removed from their home to be put on public display to be a form of revenue more so for the Gov't than the actual family or quints themselves. (I am not sure if Dad agreed or the Gov't just did it) Jon & Kate to date still have their children
    Ever get the chance to see the movie on the Dionnes, its sad to see

    I love this show and I hope it all works out

    Possibly Jon didn't like working at home and being a more involved parent because he feels his loss of identity-only he'll have the answers if their is truth to the alleged affair

  28. you can't please everybody. i pray that they would look to our long suffering redeemer who's paid the cost and also endured public disgrace and misunderstandings. i pray that God would be very big to them and people would be smaller. hindsight ministries has great counselors.

  29. Debbie and Anonymous,

    I hope it all works out, too. And no one can please everybody any of the time! Absolutely correct. Trying to is exhausting and self-defeating.

  30. When the first rumors about Jon's alleged infidelity began, I paid a little attention. Then came the next rumors a couple weeks ago about the affair with the young teacher. Then the rumors about Kate's affair with the bodyguard. Today the rumor that Kate fired 40 staff members within 30 days after she had the babies. The more I hear, the less I'm apt to believe! I feel bad that the media has latched on and become so vicious toward the Gosselins. I also feel bad that some people will apparently believe everything in every rag they read!

  31. freethegosselinchildrenMay 22, 2009 at 10:06 AM

    If everything is bogus in the tabliods, then why are the Gosselins slowly admitting it is the truth? And not sueing like other stars have done in the past? If Kate did say to Jon, "I want out" six months ago and had this contract he could see who he wanted, then tech. he didn't cheat just as Jon said. Personally, I don't see that way. Kate probably doesn't think she cheated with the body guard either. Take a look on Kate's "adoring" fans sites. You can see Mr. Gray, Steve Neild in many of those pictures from the past.
    I hope "Us" and the rest of the magazines stays glued to Kate and watches her every move. Its everything the little narcissist wanted. Let the show just be about Jon and Kate and NOT the Eight. Most of us complaining will gladly go away. We do it because we don't like seeing kids exploited, kids scrap-booked "Eight Little Faces" by their own mother to be looked at by pedophiles.
    Kate needs to stop talking to "People" magazine if she truely hates the publicty.

  32. Kiely and freethegosselinchildren,

    There often can be some truth to these tabloid stories...that's why they're believable. A grain of truth is taken (Jon & Kate having troubles) and then that's filled out with outlandish claims.

    However, what's truth or not here isn't entirely what's important. What is is that this family is protected from physical, emotion, mental, and spiritual harm. We should stop asserting what we think is best or right for this family and focus on those positives. This is accomplished through prayer.

  33. Thank you for writing this! You're one of the few people who actually wrote something positive about this family. People have become obsessed with tearing the Gosselins apart, for their own sick reasons. That does say something about our society, which is frightening to say the least. Bless you for being one of the good guys.

  34. Kiely, rock on, rockstar! :)

    Susan, thanks for your kind words and support!

  35. I think that's what Jon always talks about when he says he will always be Jon and Kate plus 8 and never jon. When he is jon and Kate look at how people talk about him. As some dude who needs to grow a pair while trying to take care of his family.


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