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Risks Of Being Vulnerable

Being vulnerable can be so rewarding. It can also be horrifically disappointing. Stereotypically for guys, being vulnerable with thoughts and feelings is simply against a man's nature. It doesn't come naturally. Emotions are saved for when men are alone or to share only with spouses or best friends. I think of the Tom Hanks line from A League of Their Own: "There's no crying in baseball!" Anger seems to be permitted but not fear, worry, or tears. More often I've seen people apologize for getting upset or tearing up than for showing an angry or passionate reaction. 

The more reflective emotions seem to be reserved for women. It seems stereotypically more natural for women to be shedding tears or showing concern. Yet, too much or too frequent emotional displays can also bring scoffing or ridicule.

It's like there's no winning when it comes to being vulnerable. This is why being vulnerable is hard and requires intentionality. 

The reality is that being vuln…
Recent posts

Goodbye, Allie

We called her many names over the years. Allie-rat. Monkeyface. Georgia called her "Baby Kitty" which was funny calling an 18-year-old cat a baby. With her passing, the last piece of living Mississippi in our house was lost.

Allie moved with us to Maryland from Mississippi. She and Bones flew with me on two separate return trips to Baltimore from Jackson. Maddy the Beagle rode with us in the Honda Accord. Now, all three of those furbabies have passed away.
Allie was a unique kitten and the last of a litter from a momma kitty adopted by a country radio station, Miss 103, in Jackson, Mississippi. A mutual friend and DJ reached out to Kim and me, knowing we were animal lovers and hoping we could help her get the last kitten adopted. The momma wouldn't let the kitten nurse because she chewed on her nipples too hard. One family returned the kitten because the children thought she was too ugly. 
Of course, we took her in. Reminding us of an alley rat - that became her name. Go…

See You Around, Mike

Three weeks ago, I attended the memorial service of a dear Brother in Christ. Sunday, June 10, would've been his 56th birthday.
I miss my friend. But what's sad is that I didn't miss Mike until he was gone.

At least in the middle of the odd month, but definitely by the last week of it, Mike would always reach out to me with a request. It was usually to load a certain worship music video or some game show music. Sometimes, he needed some specific slides created or sound effects. Mike put a lot of thought into preparing the lessons.

For certain lessons, Mike asked the kids to write something that was bothering them or something that was a sin. Then he had them take hammer and nail to that card and attach it to an old rugged cross. Mike often brought in props to physically connect the Bible stories to the kids. For example, when he dressed as an innkeeper and walked in a wheelbarrow full of fresh cow manure. He was adding the smell of a barn to the lesson just to help set th…

Finally Leaving the Layoff Swamp

A month ago, on March 12, my 9-month layoff ended as I began working for the City of Baltimore as an IT Project Manager. I described many times the experience of being laid off like being in swamp. Not just “in” a swamp but trapped or lost in a swamp: uncertain of its depth and dangers, being anxious to escape, admiring the surroundings, feeling at times miserable, and doubting your skills.

I learned many things from this experience about myself and those around me. Hopefully, I'll compile these thoughts into a book soon. For now, here's a short list. One tip for each month of my layoff:


What A Year

With a new year, looking forward and backward is important. Looking ahead is important to set goals and milestones of what to accomplish in the coming year. Reflecting on the past year is important to consider areas of growth and areas needing improvement.

Looking back on 2017, it's hard to ignore that I've been in the swamp of a layoff for half of it. December marked 6 months since the last day of work at AOL and 4 months since separation from the company.

So, what are some lessons I've learned from this journey?

Being Thankful In A Swamp

There’s a time in the swamp of a job layoff that you know it’s going to be worse and perhaps longer. This is when the holidays come.

Words From Swamps Do Not Define You

Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me. It's an empowering phrase for children standing up to teasing and bullying. However, words can and do hurt. Said enough times, one can believe anything as truth. What words are you allowing to be spoken into you on a daily basis?